A worry is worth nothing yet it twists, pulls, turns, stops, twists some more all while awaiting it's predetermined lie, which will soon reveal itself in due time.

A worry will blind you, it does not think logically or with an open heart on any level.
There is no inch of faith that it carries to lovingly guide you.
It will  hurt you.
It will make you think that maybe he tenderly touches and warmly embraces every woman like this.
It will make you think that maybe you are not the only one.
It will make you think that maybe you are nothing more than a place to house his desire.
It will make you think that maybe he does not feel that same fire burning in and through your entire body.
And if he does, what if I do something to put that fire out?
I don't want that fire to be put out.
I want to keep it alive, add more and more to it.
I want to see it rise & stay in the heavens
Yet worrying about whether a fire exists or not ultimately prevents it from further burning.
It covers it with all  it has and everything it doesn't, smothers it into nothing.
Creates something that doesn't have to be, oh but it will if that is what you choose to believe.

& who is this girl ! A friend tells me it's his lady friend. I don't want to know that ! I didn't even ask. I suppose you had already read my mind.
Worries.

& says look over there, points to them talking together across the way. He's smiling, see that's a good sign, isn't it?
I agreed and silently tried to push away my worries & and hoping none of them would come true.
I continued through the night, keeping hold my ground, telling myself that it wasn't true.
But my worries were breaking it down, everything was coming loose, I could feel my feet trying to find a place to keep and be.

I knew there was someone else. There always is, isn't there ?
I've been here before, will a change ever come?
I will never be the one.
Worries, worries, worries.

Stop it, stop it, stop it !
You are fine.
Enjoy your time.

So just upon the release of our goodbye, I asked with hormonal and drunken stupor,
"Do you do this stuff with girls often?"

He tells me no.
But your friend told me that you have a lady friend.
Poor guy, he has no idea of anything & I just released all my ugly worries in a frenzy !
Why must I make everything about me?
Take them back, take it back!
Come free.
Now I have really teared it open.
No, no, no...

So he tells me, "All that matters is what we create together. Look inward, find your inner strength."

Sometimes I dislike being a woman who is so willing and able to love fully, and then to have it be magnified by ten upon full cycle is just the bees knees.
My vulnerability has left me with jagged edges and leftover worries.
A change has come.
Perfect timing, as always.