My baby girl fell asleep on her own tonight. I went to take a shower while she finished eating cereal for dinner and came out to her asleep in her own bed. No need for a rub on the back, a kiss goodnight, a hug, a book, piano lullabies or even blankets tucked in to sleep tight. She even got her own glass from the cupboard and poured herself some water. A rare moment I will cherish yet question. The question must cease to be all that keeps consuming me. I realized tonight while in the shower how many moments I have spent thinking about pimples on my face, or my physical appearance in general. How many moments I have spent staring at myself in the mirror, picking at these pimples until they bleed. Worrying incessantly. How many of those moments I'd like to trade to instead be present with someone or something beyond vanity. I better shape up, really. Get a good grip on what's good rather than be down in the dark, searching for the way out. I better be real good and hip to what's around me because I'll lose it all if I keep up this worrying. I have to let it go. This burden of shadows following me. I have to set them free with something that reaches beyond me. Far beyond my pimple picking and twisted thinking. Perhaps the possibilities could be something other than dreadful and loathing but when that has been all you've come to know, the climb out is steep and I slip. I can't slip anymore though. I decided. This life is too wondrous to slip and cry out in fear each time I reach a new height. I have to keep climbing, to the peak, the top of the mountain. There is more to be seen than false truths and abandoned feelings. There is life brimming with good, I just have to believe.