A worry is worth nothing yet it twists, pulls, turns, stops, twists some more all while awaiting it's predetermined lie, which will soon reveal itself in due time.

A worry will blind you, it does not think logically or with an open heart on any level.
There is no inch of faith that it carries to lovingly guide you.
It will  hurt you.
It will make you think that maybe he tenderly touches and warmly embraces every woman like this.
It will make you think that maybe you are not the only one.
It will make you think that maybe you are nothing more than a place to house his desire.
It will make you think that maybe he does not feel that same fire burning in and through your entire body.
And if he does, what if I do something to put that fire out?
I don't want that fire to be put out.
I want to keep it alive, add more and more to it.
I want to see it rise & stay in the heavens
Yet worrying about whether a fire exists or not ultimately prevents it from further burning.
It covers it with all  it has and everything it doesn't, smothers it into nothing.
Creates something that doesn't have to be, oh but it will if that is what you choose to believe.

& who is this girl ! A friend tells me it's his lady friend. I don't want to know that ! I didn't even ask. I suppose you had already read my mind.
Worries.

& says look over there, points to them talking together across the way. He's smiling, see that's a good sign, isn't it?
I agreed and silently tried to push away my worries & and hoping none of them would come true.
I continued through the night, keeping hold my ground, telling myself that it wasn't true.
But my worries were breaking it down, everything was coming loose, I could feel my feet trying to find a place to keep and be.

I knew there was someone else. There always is, isn't there ?
I've been here before, will a change ever come?
I will never be the one.
Worries, worries, worries.

Stop it, stop it, stop it !
You are fine.
Enjoy your time.

So just upon the release of our goodbye, I asked with hormonal and drunken stupor,
"Do you do this stuff with girls often?"

He tells me no.
But your friend told me that you have a lady friend.
Poor guy, he has no idea of anything & I just released all my ugly worries in a frenzy !
Why must I make everything about me?
Take them back, take it back!
Come free.
Now I have really teared it open.
No, no, no...

So he tells me, "All that matters is what we create together. Look inward, find your inner strength."

Sometimes I dislike being a woman who is so willing and able to love fully, and then to have it be magnified by ten upon full cycle is just the bees knees.
My vulnerability has left me with jagged edges and leftover worries.
A change has come.
Perfect timing, as always.

Electromagnetic Vampires

What are you living for ?
What is it that you are breathing into yourself each passing wave?
Mindless thoughts consuming, drowning, suffocating your entire being.
To only castrate you undoubtedly into a land of nothing.

Are you lost, half- dead in head space ?
Cut from the world of ethereal beauty and grace.

Solemn.

Pinned to the wheel of self-disgrace.

What are you living for ?
What is it that you are breathing into yourself each passing wave?
Is it money, cars, women?
Is it alcohol, drugs, weapons or nothing at all ?

Wasteful.
Restless.
Over-expenditure of poignant pity.

What are you living for ?
What is it that you are breathing into yourself each passing wave?

Ungrateful.
Anxious.

Electromagnetic Vampires weave through the burning sun, draining all that makes us one by believing that you are the only one.

Some sleepy tunes for this silent Tuesday night

I thought of you tonight when I looked up at the crescent moon. I smiled to myself because I knew you had looked at it with the same eyes as I do and wasn't alone.

Ya know I've been thinking lately how in this life there is far too much cookie-cutter bullshit getting tossed everywhere only to become stale and eventually trash. The same damn fear keeping people safe in there tiny cookie-cutter mold. I'm starting to wonder if people even feel anything anymore or if they have surely surrendered, keeping themselves pinned to the cyclical wheel of self-disgrace. All too familiar, right? Ego's taking over and turning us all into zombego's...lol.

  I already knew that you too carried with you a quiet appreciation and love for the peace that music brings and how it soothes the soul, along with the sun that graces us in the morning and bids us farewell at night, creating an endless array of watercolor skies, and the vast velvet blanket of burning speckles filling up your eyes with a simple mystical delight, waking up to see last night's moon silently fading into the early morning light, and an anticipation of the ocean fog rolling in on a Sunday afternoon...all things simple and beautiful in this life. I've truly never met anyone of the like, have you ?


Sharing a moment of love with another soul is the most real thing in this life that is so often dismissed due to some stupid taboo. I'm talking about a different love too, not the mushy romantic, I need you so desperately or I'll just die love.

We caught eyes and I felt this burst of warm energy surge through my whole body and my mind went to mush, since then it has slowly been put back together in a carefully thought out way. I believe that when it is right, we will live to see another day.

My love is a river; flowing in and through trees, twisting and cleansing thee.
A rapid river at times, languid at most.
My love is a blanket; upon uneasy chicken skin it will diffuse unto gentle breathing.
Suffocating at times, one leg in, one leg out at most.
My love is electrifying; magmatically soothing
A well deep enough to water all beings.

How you choose to receive this gift is up to you.
I have no control if you so choose to swim in this love, how children do during endless Summer days.
Whether you float with sweetness and swim with fluidity or whether you just dip your toes in with slight hesitancy.
I have no control if you so choose to wrap your whole self up in this love, like a breakfast burrito on a rainy afternoon Sunday.
Whether you keep close the warmth all through the night or whether you'd like to kick it off with a slight sudden of fright.

My love is there and will always be.
You may take it and use it however you need but do not be disappointed when it is not something preconceived to what you may have dreamed.
I have come to realize that it is best to share rather than to take and in order to share, you must learn to give.

Music Muse

Can dreams become conducive to reality, what if they are essentially at some point, the same thing?

A real dream and your reality fusing beautifully together; your subconscious and your conscious becoming one. Quintessentially birthing a quote en quote "Dreamworld." Oh yes, it is possible you beautiful people !
Let me explain how this may be.

I'm actually not really sure where to begin....

 ....I had this thought that whatever happens in our real life, all our problems, experiences, things we encounter are created through our subconscious. And as each moment passes, it slowly pushes along trying to lead us to our true selves so that we may become one with the divine. Thus, allowing us to freely create the vivid and beautiful scenes of our lives.
It is up to us to become fully aware of our behavior and our experiences so that we can plant the seeds where they need be sown and watered when need be watered, up until one day the flowers you had wished for are right in front of your eyes growing radically in each and every colorful way just as you had imagined. Blooming out of your own mental image and then perfectly placed in your reality. This is life and this life is whatever you dream it up to be.
When we fall asleep, we dream solely from our subconscious as well in different realms. This allows for our subconscious to take us into dreams that help us solve problems in our real life that we are missing while conscious. The same problems we encounter that keep us from creating the brilliant life we deserve. But what if we are seeking into the wrong dimension for personal resolves and freedom?

sporadic spectrum
 up high


 real low
  floatin to    and    
                           fro
BE
here now
& embrace the chaotic f    l     o     w.


Heal me free, heal me free

I got the blood of the Sea rippling through my body
I got the blood of the Sea vibrating through my veins
I got the blood of the Sea breathing in my brain

Heal me free, heal me free
I said heal me free
Blood of the Sea


Riding in cars with girls.

Can you turn it up please?
This music sucks but it will do, as long as it drowns you all out.
Head back and dissolve into the clouds, as the car twists, pulls, and turns.
I've given in completely, I am free.
Turn it down once more to speak of nothing !
Please stop wasting your breathe to ruin this perfect moment of nothing.
Best thing that happened today was seeing those black birds fly with grace above me
1...2....3....4....5. Of course there are 5.

Your incessant speak of petty things is making it difficult for me to listen completely
I will give up eventually, in hopes that you might too
Could ya shut up and listen awhile ?!

This is so much fun isn't it ?
Yeah, this is great. I loved what just happened 10 minutes ago.
Let's assure ourselves we are having fun please, I must have lost it.
Yeah, this is so awesome !
I loved that drive, it was so scenic and full of turns.

Could your turn it up please?
PLEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAASE
Speaking upon eggshells, making sure not to offend any egos.
Sometimes it's just better to do things alone.